


A Selfish Man

by TheWriter_TheReader



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 02:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15764565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWriter_TheReader/pseuds/TheWriter_TheReader
Summary: In a drunken stupor, Bellamy runs into an old ex.





	A Selfish Man

Bellamy threw back the double shot and coughed at the harsh burn running down his throat. He placed it on top of the small tower of glasses he was making and tapped his palm on the top of the bar to get the bartender’s attention. He ordered two more shots, one vodka and one tequila, and ignored the concerned eyes staring down at him. He had a crappy day and he wanted a damn drink. 

It was bad enough that he was dumped over text message, but to then go about his day as if nothing happened was a complete pain in the arse. But still, he did his deliveries throughout the building and made sure that none of the phone lines got blocked in the mailroom. Halfway through his shift, he was called into the Marketing department and screamed out for losing an envelope that never existed in the first place. Did anyone believe the man who sat around organising and documenting any and all mail that entered the building? No. They just sat there and watched. 

He hated his job. He had no girlfriend. He – He – 

He needed another a drink. 

“Rough day?” A familiar voice asked from the other end of the bar. 

Bellamy turned to see a pale skinned man with messy brown hair and amused blue eyes. He was dressed in a plain shirt and jeans with his jacket slung over the back of a chair. Bellamy hadn’t seen John Murphy in over two years and now here he was, like he had never left in the first place. 

Bellamy licked his dry lips and turned back to the bar, ignoring Murphy as best as he could. He heard the other man laugh under his breath and the sound of fabric rustling as he picked up his jacket and moved to sit next to Bellamy. Not having the heart to tell him to leave, Bellamy stayed quiet. 

“Excuse me?” Murphy called to the bartender, “A beer and a water, please.” 

“Since when do you drink water at a bar?” Bellamy asked before he could stop himself. 

Murphy shook his head. “It’s not for me. It’s for you.” He tapped the top of Bellamy’s shot glass tower and smirked, “Something tells me if you keep going like this, the bar is going to have to close early.” 

Bellamy rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Whatever.” He said, quickly downing the rest of his shots. 

When the drinks arrived, Murphy moved the water in front of him and took a slow drink of his beer, the condensation trailing down his fingers and onto the back of his hand. He placed the bottle onto the counter with a small bang and pushed back a few strands of misplaced hair. Sitting so he was facing Bellamy, Murphy leaned his elbow on the counter and rested his chin on his fisted hand. 

“Seriously, Bell, what’s going on with you?” He asked curiously. 

Bellamy sighed. He didn’t know why Murphy was here and he certainly didn’t want to spend his evening complaining to him. At least, he thought he didn’t. After they had broken up, everything had seemed to spiral for Bellamy. He got ‘promoted’ at work, but that just meant cleaning out people’s out people’s mail instead of cleaning their toilets. He had kept dating, but everything ended with him being told that he wasn’t what they wanted. Even his relationships with his friends seemed to be hitting rocky patches. Apparently, someone who was always irritated and bitter wasn’t a great companion. 

But Murphy was the only person asking him what was wrong. He was the only person that thought that maybe something was actually bothering him instead of just assuming he was turning bitter for no reason. He was the only person here. 

Bellamy paused for a moment and thought about what to say exactly. He couldn’t just blurt out every little problem he had. It wouldn’t be fair to dump that on someone he hadn’t seen in so long. Bellamy shrugged his shoulders and simply said, “Bad day.” 

Murphy laughed. “You don’t say.” He said, “I meant what’s going on with you  _specifically_. Someone leave something other than a clogged toilet for you to find? Was it a body part?” 

“No, but they blamed me for not sending off a damn document on time. Arseholes.” He said before taking a slow sip of his water. It was probably a good thing that Murphy had ordered him this instead of a beer. 

“Why would a janitor be to blame for that?” Murphy asked. 

“I work in the mail room now.” Bellamy explained, “It fucking sucks.” 

“They finally gave you the promotion?” Murphy asked excitedly, his eyes suddenly brightening and a wide smile spreading across his lips. 

Bellamy laughed, surprised at his reaction, before nodding his head. “Yeah, so much for better than cleaning toilets.” He took another slow sip of water, wrapping his arm around the back of Murphy’s chair and trying not to notice the way Murphy followed his movement with an amused smirk. 

“So,” He began softly, “You’ve had a crappy time of it lately and decided to throw back a few instead of, oh, I don’t know, quitting?” 

Bellamy scoffed, “Don’t start.” 

“Oh, come on, Bell,” Murphy said, “We both know you should have left that job a long time ago, but you didn’t because you think you owe them something. Well, you don’t. You’re not some desperate nineteen-year-old anymore. You have options.” 

“Like what? Cleaning toilets at another company. Sorting out some other jerk’s mail.” Bellamy said, “In case you don’t remember, I barely finished high school after my mum died. I don’t have a degree, and I stayed with the first job I could find because quitting would have made everything so much worse. Mum had debts I needed to pay, Octavia still needed to go to school, I had to try and survive.” 

“What about now?” Murphy argued, “You had already paid off most of your mother’s debts by the time we had met, Octavia’s out of school by now, and your need to survive is making you more miserable than some homeless people.” 

Bellamy shook his head, “For someone who ran out the door when things started getting serious, you certainly think you know a lot about my life.” 

Murphy sighed. He ran a shaking hand through his hair and tried to not look at Bellamy as his eyes began to water. “We were going through a rough patch, and I handled it badly.” He said quietly, “I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed by your side and pushed you to make a decision that would make you happy.” 

“I do make decisions that make me happy.” 

“No, you make decisions based on how it will affect everyone else’s lives instead of your own.” Murphy said, “And it isn’t fair because you are such a good person.” 

Bellamy shook his head. He wasn’t a good person. A good person wouldn’t be sat around complaining as he got drunk. He was just another selfish man who thought he deserved better. 

Murphy placed a small handful of bills onto the counter and took Bellamy by the arm. “Come on,” He said, “I’m taking you home.”

 

Bellamy stumbled through the door, holding onto Murphy’s shoulders so he didn’t fall on his face. The pair laughed at his clumsiness as they made their way through to the living room. Bellamy was dropped on the couch and giggled as he seemed to bounce.

Murphy shook his head at Bellamy and took of his jacket. “My roommate is out tonight so we have the place to ourselves,” He said, “At least until morning.” He undid his tie and began to walk to one of the rooms, “I’m going to get dressed. Wait here.”

Bellamy nodded and watched as Murphy walked into the bedroom, dropping his tie on the floor and closing the door just enough to cover half the room. But the other half was clear as day. Bellamy cleared his throat, wanting to turn away, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the half-shadowed shape of Murphy slowly removing his clothes. Was he doing this on purpose?

Murphy popped the buttons of his shirt and allowed the clean white fabric to fall off his body. He ran his hand across his chest, tilting his head to the side as he stopped to slowly rub at his stiff shoulders. His chest moved as he took a deep breath and slowly sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment.

His hands slowly moved lower and he began to unbuckle his belt. He undid his trousers, moving he zipper down enough for the trousers to shift lower on his hips. He bent forward and reached for something waiting on the floor.

Bellamy held his breath as he watched Murphy’s body move. He had to know what he was doing. Slowly rising to his feet, holding onto the arm of the couch for leverage, Bellamy took a single step towards the bedroom before he stopped. If he was wrong, this would be horrible. Murphy had freely offered his apartment to him, and he would be taking advantage of it. But as Bellamy watched Murphy push his trousers down, swaying his hips slightly, he began walking again, his steps still hesitant.

Bellamy pushed open the door and stepped inside the room. He waited in the doorway until Murphy felt his eyes on his back and turned to look at Bellamy over his shoulder.

“Everything okay?” He said.

Bellamy moved quickly. He turned Murphy into his arms and caught his lips in a deep kiss, listening as Murphy gasped against his lips. Moving him backwards, Bellamy lifted Murphy’s body so he was sat on the low chest-of-draws in his room.

Holding Murphy by the back of the neck, Bellamy began kissing his shoulders and collarbone, listening with a smile as Murphy breathed heavily in his ear.

“Oh my God,” He said quietly, his hands raising to Bellamy’s back and gripping onto tightly, pulling their bodies closer together, “Bellamy.”

Murphy pushed against Bellamy’s shoulders, walking him towards the bed and pushing down on his shoulders until Bellamy in front of him, his eyes watching Murphy intently as his hands moved over the side of his body, slowly trailing against the sensitive skin.

“We shouldn’t,” Murphy said suddenly, shaking his head and moving to step, stopping when Bellamy’s hold gently tightened.

“Why?” He asked, “You don’t want this?”

Murphy bit his lip, his eyes moving over Bellamy’s face as he seemed to think for a moment. He shook his head. “I _do_ want this, but -,”

“But what?” Bellamy interrupted, “We both want this, Murphy.”

“You’re drunk.”

Bellamy smirked, “That’s never stopped us before.”

Murphy looked away, fighting off a smile, and shook his head. He moved Bellamy’s hand off his body stepped away, looking down at Bellamy with sad eyes. “We were together then. We aren’t now.” He said simply, “I just…I don’t feel right about it.” He ran his hand down Bellamy’s cheek and sighed sadly, “I’m sorry.”

Bellamy shrugged. “It’s okay.” He said before running his hands down his face and clearing his throat, trying to think of anything but the still half-naked man in front of him. “Um…I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Murphy nodded. “Okay, I’ll get you some blankets and stuff.”

Bellamy thanked him and walked back into the living. He took a deep breath and shook his head with a small smile on his lips. He really was an idiot. Sneaking a small look over his shoulder, catching a single glance at Murphy, Bellamy couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

Bellamy woke up to the smell of strong coffee and a carb heavy breakfast. He sat slowly, groaning as he felt his head pound, and smiled up at Murphy sleepily.

“Good morning,” Murphy said, “How’s your head?”

Bellamy sighed and let a dull laugh as he raised his hand to his hand and mimed a gun shooting.

Murphy smiled and handed over the coffee. “No milk, but lots of sugar. Just the way you like it.” He said. He was dressed in an old, worn pair of jogging bottoms and a faded t-shirt that Bellamy vaguely recognised. His eyes were still tired, and his face was still flush. He looked…beautiful.

“Thank you,” Bellamy said, “For everything.” He took a drink of his coffee, smiling at the thought that Murphy remembered how he liked it.

Murphy leaned against the back of the couch, resting his arm against it as he began biting at his nails nervously. He looked around the living room and cleared his throat. “About last night,” He began suddenly, “I – I didn’t mean for that to happen, but I…didn’t hate it.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrow and smirked, “Neither did I.” He said, “Then again, I wasn’t the one who pulled away.”

“That was because you were drunk,” Murphy explained, “Not because I, you know, didn’t want it.”

Bellamy nodded, “Good to know.”

He watched as Murphy made his way back into the bedroom. This time the door was shut completely. Smiling, Bellamy leaned back against the couch, his arm threw over the back, and thought about yesterday. Murphy was right, of course, he was too drunk to really do anything. But now…now he wasn’t.

Standing up, Bellamy walked back inside the bedroom, only this time he didn’t leave until much later. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments below.
> 
> Have a lovely day/night!


End file.
